I have good news and I have bad news.

Ill let you down easy; here is the bad news: YOU are responsible for your own life. The good news? You must do it alone but you are not expected to do it by yourself.

You get to decide how your life will look and feel. You get to choose who will be a part of your life and who is not a good fit. You get to choose whether to be healthy or not, whether to marry or not, whether to parent or be childless. You get to decide what kind of work youll perform; what kind of car youll drive or if youll take the bus. You even get to have a say in where to live and what color your sofa will be!

With choices come responsibility Lets say you have decided to be an unmarried person. You may have chosen to become a writer, so you spend blocks of time alone with research and crafting your words. Maybe youve chosen to have a pet for companionship. You get to choose what kind of critter will be perfect for you. You get to design your days to include or exclude people whose company you enjoy. When your income materializes, you have a moral obligation to share a portion of your newly earned wealth. No matter what your lifes work, you have a responsibility to share.

Does it matter with whom I share? Consider where you derive your spiritual strength; thats how you decide where to direct your gift. That might be your church home; it could be that woman who shared her sandwich when your pantry was empty. Perhaps youve been inspired by a piece you heard on Public Radio; you can send them a few dollars to nourish the spiritual side of your self. Again, the choice is yours.

Are you isolated? Just because you are involved in this do-it-yourself-project does not mean you are out in left field or that you must live as a monk. People need other people in this world. Your life will be enriched-and you will have the opportunity to enrich other peoples lives-by mingling with society. You might enroll in a class to learn something you did not cover in your formal training. You might do volunteer work at your local hospital or care facility. You might like to become a public speaker or a court advocate or even a foster parent. Whatever choice you make should be based on your passion, your skills and what will nourish YOU.

What tools might help? There are self help groups, online classes, neighborhood organizations that can help you in your quest for a life of quality. You might have to pay someone to design a new living room; youll probably need to hire a plumber or furnace repair person before the end of your days. There are likely to be more choices-and more appeal-in calling for a designer as opposed to say, the plumber. But you get to make those decisions. You may ask for referrals from your friends or coworkers; you might access Craigs List. You might even know a guy who is an expert in the very work you need help doing.

This choice thing is daunting! Dont allow yourself to be overwhelmed by choices. If you have ever known anyone who moved from a care facility into a place of their own, you have observed the overkill they may have experienced in their newly acquired freedom of choosing. Sometimes people go overboard, over spending, abusing food and drink just because they can.

I recently heard about an elderly man who had been incarcerated for many years. He was put in a work-release program, where he could be taken to a shopping mall by an advocate. The vast array of choices literally drove this gentleman to tears. He had never seen so many items at one time from which to make choices and the experience of deciding what to choose was more emotionally taxing than he could bear! It took several trips to a number of smaller shops before he mustered the courage to enter the village mall.

Its your life we are discussing here. The total of whatever choices you make in the course of any given day will determine the quality of your life. Choose well. Choose wisely.