Are you a self-starter? Or do you wait to be prodded, cajoled, and humored into doing what your responsibility should have been all along?

You can observe any family with several children and note quickly which ones are self starters. One child may rise from his bed in the dark of a school day morn and be the first one to reach the breakfast table, ready for a day of learning. His siblings may cover their heads with a blanket, even though a frustrated, insistent parent knocks on the bedroom door for the umpteenth time to remind them its past time to get out of bed!

We tend to be motivated in adulthood as we were as children. If we bargained with our caretakers for a treat if we did our chores, we are likely to put off our adult responsibilities if we are not gratified in the same way. Conversely, we arent thinking of rewards if we are self-starting souls. We feel gratified and satisfied just to be getting our motors revved up for whatever task, project or activity is at hand!

Self-starters tend to be leaders. They will serve as class president, begin enterprises to employ people and take part in community affairs, choosing to play a key role. Those youngsters who linger in their beds tend to be class clowns, do whatever strikes their fancy and if they participate in group activities, they are likely to be followers. Wise parents see so those groups do not involve gangs.

The success of any person is not so much dependent on their circumstances or their environment, but rather, that they are motivated to start projects and implement ideas without being prompted. If there is a need as seen by a self-starter, they are likely to find a way to fill that need; solve that problem.

Understanding self-starters and their potential impact on society behooves us to become role models. Even adults can emulate good behavior if they see it in their workplace or their neighborhood. Being a successful, self-starting adult can inspire other people to become better people.

Rollie kept an immaculate lawn. His yard was free from clutter and debris and he mowed the grass regularly. Davis? Not so much. Davis was the neighbor who just did not get around to getting the lawn work done and there were no children he could inveigle into doing the job for him. Besides, no one demanded that he take good care of his lawn and yard. Finally, Davis felt a bit of shame when he continued to see Rollie in his yard, mowing, raking, and manicuring the grounds. Finally, Davis manned up and took a cue from the self-starting Rollie. To Davis amazement, he actually enjoyed the outdoor activity and in that respect became a self-starter! Rollie had lived an exemplary life and his quiet leadership had inspired Davis to personal growth!

One of the best features of being a human being is that we have the freedom to choose our behavior, our attitude and the rate of our personal development.

Now, what will be YOUR pleasure?

Feeling crummy is not conducive to making all your dreams come true. It may be that your enthusiasm for your projects took precedence and you did not notice that your energy was lagging. Then, because you were too busy to eat and to exercise, you began to feel sluggish, run down, and just plain yucky. Moreover, you neglected to drink your water and now you are entertaining a head cold.

Isnt that just part of life? In one word, NO. Most of us come into this world healthy and hearty. As babies and toddlers, we are full of vim, vigor and vitality. Our caretakers keep us in a routine and make sure we are properly nourished, get enough rest, sleep, and play time, and they oversee our every activity. As we mature and become responsible for our own well being we go out into the big, wide world, hoping to make our mark. We have dreams to bring to fruition. We have goals. We have big ideas to implement. WE GET BUSY. We can easily sabotage our own best plans, albeit unwittingly, by failing to care properly for ourselves.

How can we avoid running our hopes into the ditch? We might do well to hearken to our babyhood by establishing a routine-it does not have to be set in cement-that makes time to meet our basic needs. We do best when we go to bed and get up at regular times which allow for proper rest and rejuvenation. This is the only opportunity our brains get to take care of our memory and our immune system; we need to take full advantage of this with optimum, quality sleep time. Just as our mothers reminded us, we must eat our vegetables. We need to take in good nutrition to put out good ideas and effort. The basic need for fresh, organic, raw vegetables and fruits cannot be overestimated. Furthermore, we would be wise to supplement our intake of foods by ingesting high quality whole foods supplements and ample minerals. It is critical, not just important, to drink plenty of good, filtered water. The rule of thumb is “ ounce per pound of body weight. That means if you are a 100 pound person, you need 50 ounces of water minimum each day. If you are exercising heavily and working hard enough to break a sweat, youll need more.

Does it take more effort than that? It most certainly takes more than the few notions already mentioned. As important as food, sleep and water are, you need to exercise and you need to play! The chances are that these two things can be combined! If exercise isnt fun, you wont continue to make the effort to make it happen. If you dont get your play time, you will find yourself being distracted from your projects and your goals. Then your dreams wont be coming true and you are in a vicious, never-ending cycle and a downward spiral.

That ought to do it, right? Wrong. Another important ingredient in this process is PERSISTANCE. Remember the little engine that could? He had the confidence that he could make it to the next stop and he kept telling himself I think I can. I think I can. I think I can until he made it happen.

If you take very good care of yourself, eat properly, rest adequately and drink your water; if you exercise regularly and vigorously and get lost in your play time“WHAT MIGHT YOU ACCOMPLISH? At least you wont be sick or tired any more. Its more likely youll be celebrating one success and reaching for the next!

Comedy clubs prosper all over the country but their profits soar during tough economic times. Norman Cousins wrote a book about how he overcame Cancer by watching movies that made him laugh. Gallows humor is legendary for dealing with awful situations and most of us can recall how we dealt with the horrific effects of 9/11 by daring to laugh again.

It could be such that we humans take ourselves and our lives too seriously. It may be that we are so fixed on the issues of the day and those issues are so painful and exhausting and routine that we are unable to see beyond our pain so as to reframe things to reveal any humor.

Take, for example, the family who renovated their home. The mess, the dust, the unhooked plumbing“all of it made for a seriously stressful situation for everyone concerned. They all dealt with it by coining a phrase that became an inside joke: All ya gotta DO is Fifty years after the fact, if someone in that family says All ya gotta DO is everyone bursts into uproarious laughter. Their misery bonded them and the humor freed them. It was pure magic!

If you find yourself in an untenable situation and you find a way to reframe it, you create a way of freeing yourself from trouble, embarrassment, and anxiety. Many times we can find ways to laugh at ourselves and release some stress. It was highly stressful when we rearranged our lives in order to attend the wedding of a relative. We had to reschedule our work, make sure we had a gift that would please the bride and groom; and that we were appropriately attired. You can imagine our consternation when we realized that we had gone to the wedding on the wrong day! What was there to do but laugh at ourselves? Here we were, all dressed up and no place to go! It still makes us giggle, just to think of it. Never mind that we were not amused at the time.

I know a couple who planned a honeymoon trip following their wedding. The ceremony was perfection, the dinner that followed was festive, and even though the weather had become chilly and wet, they set off on their journey, full of hope and promise. It was not until they had been on the road for an hour that the bride discovered-to her horror-that the airline tickets were not with them! What could have been a disastrous beginning for a newly married couple became a great source of laughter for many years hence because this couple took the matter in stride, made other arrangements to collect the tickets and had a really good laugh. Now, theres a prescription for a happy marriage!

Sometimes you can take a cue from someone with special needs. They seem to find ways to put other people at ease when situations become stressful. There is a group home where two men share an apartment. Their caretaker told this story: I needed a packing list so when the guys visit their family I know what to put into their suitcases. I had been provided with one but it was misplaced. When I asked for a new list, the mother of one of the guys sent TWO of them! One was for the things we should send; the other list gave us what NOT to send and both were done in the style of David Lettermans Top Ten! We howled with laughter over both lists! She did not seem frustrated with the need for another list; she made sure we remembered these lists by injecting some humor into the situation. It has been said that dog is mans best friend. That might very well be, but humor rates right up there! You really ought to practice humor more often. It might be contagious!

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. – Malcolm Forbes

Every person on the planet has unique abilities. If you employed your own abilities and you knew you could not fail, what would you do? Lets imagine you are the #1 People Person in the universe. People like you. They come to you for advice. They want to be your friend. You negotiate issues with uncanny success. You might become an arbitrator. You might even become a legal beagle. You could change the world with one of your great ideas. But you didnt. Not yet, anyway.

Lets suppose you are the Worlds Foremost Mother. You have this fabulous idea, based on the success you have enjoyed by raising a brood of happy, well adjusted children. But you hang back, afraid to spend your energy on your idea because someone in your childs play group criticized your hairstyle. You dont want everybody to see your hair as you present your project.

We could even imagine you would launch a great new product on the world scene. This would be a fabulous, affordable product borne of your own imagination and need. It could revolutionize all of mankinds way of life. But you lack capital to make things happen. You are afraid of debt and youre not sure of your idea; you fear looking foolish if your idea doesnt net the profit you envision. Do any of these scenarios feel familiar to you?

What holds people back from achieving success? What IS it that holds us back from making our dreams come true? Fear? Procrastination? Laziness? We know it isnt lack of ability;

Could it be that our self confidence is at question? Is it possible we think we are not worthy of success?

It is a proven fact that human beings avoid pain and seek pleasure. We all are wary of failure. If we are truthful with ourselves, we will admit that failure is only an opportunity to discover new ways of reaching our goals.

Is there a solution to this problem? If you are someone who yearns for success and has felt denied you might consider taking time to list all the things which hold you back. Your list may look something like this:

– I did not remain focused on my tasks to reach the ultimate goal.

– I did not ask for help.

– I denied needing help when it was offered

– I do not believe I should succeed

– I spent too much time TALKING; too little time DOING

– I was not prepared when I contacted people who could advance my plans

– I neglected networking opportunities that would have advanced my cause.

Now, list all the reasons why you DESERVE to enjoy success. Your list might include the following:

– My product/project is needed by the masses

– I can and will access assistance from many sources.

– I will follow through, despite minutiae and setbacks.

– My family deserves for me to follow through to conclusion

– I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor by becoming successful!

– I deserve to feel success in all its sweetness!

– I can do this and I will!

– I am responsible for my own success!

Final Question: Now that we have established your supreme ability to succeed and we promise your success will appear in the final analysis WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Dieters get stuck on plateaus. Writers get stuck thinking of ideas. Cars and trucks get stuck in the mud.

People of every stripe get stuck in their routines, their ways of thinking, and in their pursuit of happiness.

Maybe you are stuck. The economy is tough, you are concerned about downsizing, layoffs or mortgage issues. Being between a rock and a hard place can make us feel paralyzed, frozen in place. Its a real and serious problem.

Is there a solution to this dilemma?

It might be that you need to change things up a bit. Lets assume that you have a job but you are concerned about keeping it. Here is something for you to consider: Take an hour first thing in the morning and spend time just thinking.

Arrange your life so as to rise early and spend time alone. No TV news, no music on the radio, no people chattering in your home. Just spend some quiet time, thinking about your job. Think about what you can do to make yourself irreplaceable. Meditate about how you can offer more value to your employer.

Enumerate in your mind ways you can be more efficient, more helpful, more involved.

After think time, what follows?

Then, after you have spent your hour alone, just thinking, contemplating and considering your work life, revamp your schedule. Tweak it ever so slightly. Drive to work using a different route. Park in a different place; maybe you can walk a ways and reduce stress in the process.

If you take a lunch, replace your usual sandwich with fresh fruit and fresh veggies. Skip the coffee in lieu of water. If you buy your lunch, make every effort to switch to brown bagging it. Or simply order soup or salad for a whole week and watch for subtle changes. Do you feel less sleepy after lunch? Are you saving a few bucks?

Change is hard; must I make more changes?

Since change is difficult for everyone, it is wise to make changes incrementally. After you have spent a week rising early, spending time in thought and rearranging your lunchtime routine, it might be good to make changes in the way you spend the end of your day.

You are dog tired when you get home. All you want to do is wind down, have your evening meal and go through your usual routine.

How about switching things up at your house? Why not try having your dessert first? You are an adult. You are allowed to eat dessert before dinner. Honestly. The Food Police will not come and arrest you. Be moderate, though; dont have a triple-triple banana split every night or well be talking about changing your dietary habits again!

Here is another suggestion for changing your evening routine: Gather the family, give everyone a pad and pencil-better yet, tape a large sheet of paper to the wall or the fridge. Have everyone name a couple of things for that day that they are feeling gratitude. Having a long list of items for which you are grateful can be an effective panacea for fear and anxiety. This activity will enhance your family life and give everyone cherished memories. It might even grow into a tradition for generations to come.

Heres hoping youve taken some ideas from this to become unstuck from your own business. You are now free to soar like an eagle and live life with passion, purpose and a sense of well being!

Readers Digest magazine has, for many years, included a feature story about someones most unforgettable character. Its always an inspirational description of someone who is living up to his potential.

Toastmasters, International include in their meetings all over the globe a segment in their program called Table Topics. The members have 2 to 3 minutes to speak extemporaneously.

Imagine someone is writing about YOU for the Readers Digest. Envision someone standing for a couple of minutes at the front of a room, talking about how YOU are someones most unforgettable character!

Unsettling, isnt it?

Unless you have a narcissistic streak, you may squirm at the very thought of someone taking out bragging rights concerning your parenting skills or your ability to touch your tongue to your nose. You may think there is not much to discuss. After all, you did not finish college. Or you neglected writing that poem for your beloved. And worse, you failed an exam once!

Lets look at it in a different way. Lets pretend they are planning the movie of your life. WHO will play your part in this flick? What will be the plot of the story? Will the ending show you celebrating with your friends and family because your dreams came true? Or, will the closing scene be shot in a rainy cemetery with a few mourners wearing black and shaking their heads sadly?

Good news! The choice is yours!

You are completely free to choose whatever path strikes your fancy. You can sit on your sofa, your thumb on the remote control and mindlessly watch reruns on television. You can sit in a movie theater to escape the reality that your house needs repair. You can even pay a therapist because you are so unhappy, so unfulfilled, and so empty.

Conversely, you can get yourself a legal pad and write down everything youd like to accomplish between now and your cemetery scene. Be bold. List all the things you feel in your heart are impossible. Seriously consider your passion. Think long and hard about what trips your trigger, what keeps you interested for hours on end, what do you LOVE to do?

If you dont know what your passion is, I would challenge you to look on your calendar. What kinds of activities have you been immersed in during the past 30 days? If you still need clues, look on your book shelves or inventory your DVD collection. What movies are you watching? What music do you love to hear?

Still need clues?

Look in your clothes closet. Do you find business wear or sports outfits? Are your shoes dressy or sporty or casual?

Listen to the words you say. Are you always talking about food? Do your conversations seem to be sprinkled with news items? Are you really interested in money or woodworking or pets? WHAT IS YOUR PASSION?

Once you have identified what it is you love to think about, talk about and do something about, you are on your way to knowing what fuels your fire.

Anderson Cooper once wrestled with choosing his lifes work and his mother gave him this advice: Follow your bliss. Of course, he did, and the man with prematurely gray hair became a boy wonder on CNN.

This project may not seem to be a breeze, but dont make it more complicated than necessary. Have a good time with it. Think playfully and with creativity. Its your life we are talking about here.

You already are someones most unforgettable character! Live your life to the hilt; give it the best effort you can muster and give the rest of the world something to emulate!

Ive been meaning to write about procrastination for a long time, but somehow, I just did get around to it Does that sound uncomfortably familiar? Anyone who is breathing runs the risk of suffering from the human condition. Since human beings avoid pain and seek pleasure, we tend to procrastinate despite our best intentions. How can we get around this issue? Did your mama teach you to Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today? Maybe a few suggestions will help get you into gear and assist you to overcome the whole put-off-until-tomorrow-what-you-can-get-out-of-doing-today scenario! Youll do your mama proud!

Set a Goal Lets begin with the notion that you get to the end of your day without accomplishing tasks. That very fact affects and sabotages your next days schedule. Can we agree that you will function more smoothly with a simple To Do list? It may look something like this;

Make the bed, tend to personal care, eat a nourishing breakfast

Get to work before the workplace is crowded and noisy; take care of phone calls and email

Arrive on time for meetings

Errands during lunch time: make dinner reservations for Friday; order flowers for spouses special day

Pick up Chinese for dinner en route home from work Im sure you get the idea

When you and I were Kindergarteners we got a star for our accomplishments. Its no different now; we still like those silver stars at the top of our paper. So GIVE yourself a silver star by drawing a line through each task as it is done and draw a star at the top of your page! Or, buy some silver star stickers from the office supply store. Put that on your To Do list.

Be Accountable If you lack the discipline to make your list and follow through all the way to the silver stars, you may benefit from an Accountability Partner. It may be your other half; it may be your best friend; it could be a business associate. I am privileged to have an Accountability Partner. Here is how I handle that: I email my To Do list in the morning as I begin my workday. I enumerate the projects I plan to tackle, including lunchtime, food prep and exercise time. Before the day is over, I send a progress update. This process takes all of 5 minutes and it helps me to feel as if I am on track for my projects and the minutiae of my day. If you are a work from home person, you can have a thousand interruptions during any given workday. Double that possibility if you have children in your busy home! Having a plan, utilizing a partner for accountability and sticking to it means you have a much better chance to enjoy the success you design for yourself!

Take a Break Do remember to give yourself a slice of time every day to goof off, throw paper wads, have a leisurely cup of coffee, or just think. If you make time for relaxation you will find yourself to be far more productive. Sometimes you will need a nap. Your body will give you clues: you will feel sleepy or you may find yourself making silly mistakes. You may be yawning or daydreaming. For heavens sake, TAKE a NAP! Just by slipping in a 20 to 30 minute power nap you could be adding years to your life, zip in your energy level and youll boost your immune system! In addition, you will have a fresh perspective for your work. The world will continue to turn on its axis as you snooze and all your work will wait patiently for your return!

One More Point Just because you are seriously accountable to avoid procrastination does not mean you should take yourself and your life too seriously. Remember to laugh, especially at yourself. Find a joke book “ put that on your To Do list, if you must “ and have some fun with your life. Add a short riddle to the list you send to your Accountability Partner and spread the humor around like jam on toast!

Now that you are well supplied with suggestions, do NOT neglect putting at least one of these ideas in place! Remember what your mama said about putting things off? You do NOT want to disappoint your mama!

I have good news and I have bad news.

Ill let you down easy; here is the bad news: YOU are responsible for your own life. The good news? You must do it alone but you are not expected to do it by yourself.

You get to decide how your life will look and feel. You get to choose who will be a part of your life and who is not a good fit. You get to choose whether to be healthy or not, whether to marry or not, whether to parent or be childless. You get to decide what kind of work youll perform; what kind of car youll drive or if youll take the bus. You even get to have a say in where to live and what color your sofa will be!

With choices come responsibility Lets say you have decided to be an unmarried person. You may have chosen to become a writer, so you spend blocks of time alone with research and crafting your words. Maybe youve chosen to have a pet for companionship. You get to choose what kind of critter will be perfect for you. You get to design your days to include or exclude people whose company you enjoy. When your income materializes, you have a moral obligation to share a portion of your newly earned wealth. No matter what your lifes work, you have a responsibility to share.

Does it matter with whom I share? Consider where you derive your spiritual strength; thats how you decide where to direct your gift. That might be your church home; it could be that woman who shared her sandwich when your pantry was empty. Perhaps youve been inspired by a piece you heard on Public Radio; you can send them a few dollars to nourish the spiritual side of your self. Again, the choice is yours.

Are you isolated? Just because you are involved in this do-it-yourself-project does not mean you are out in left field or that you must live as a monk. People need other people in this world. Your life will be enriched-and you will have the opportunity to enrich other peoples lives-by mingling with society. You might enroll in a class to learn something you did not cover in your formal training. You might do volunteer work at your local hospital or care facility. You might like to become a public speaker or a court advocate or even a foster parent. Whatever choice you make should be based on your passion, your skills and what will nourish YOU.

What tools might help? There are self help groups, online classes, neighborhood organizations that can help you in your quest for a life of quality. You might have to pay someone to design a new living room; youll probably need to hire a plumber or furnace repair person before the end of your days. There are likely to be more choices-and more appeal-in calling for a designer as opposed to say, the plumber. But you get to make those decisions. You may ask for referrals from your friends or coworkers; you might access Craigs List. You might even know a guy who is an expert in the very work you need help doing.

This choice thing is daunting! Dont allow yourself to be overwhelmed by choices. If you have ever known anyone who moved from a care facility into a place of their own, you have observed the overkill they may have experienced in their newly acquired freedom of choosing. Sometimes people go overboard, over spending, abusing food and drink just because they can.

I recently heard about an elderly man who had been incarcerated for many years. He was put in a work-release program, where he could be taken to a shopping mall by an advocate. The vast array of choices literally drove this gentleman to tears. He had never seen so many items at one time from which to make choices and the experience of deciding what to choose was more emotionally taxing than he could bear! It took several trips to a number of smaller shops before he mustered the courage to enter the village mall.

Its your life we are discussing here. The total of whatever choices you make in the course of any given day will determine the quality of your life. Choose well. Choose wisely.